Post by Stevison on Jun 25, 2007 10:48:31 GMT -5
ANY feedback is appreciated. But, if you say its sucks (you won't hurt my feelings if you say so (Haha, like you care about hurting my feelings)), can you tell me why it sucks so I can fix it?
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As he noticed I was not just looking, but analyzing him, he looked at his feet. I did the same, feeling blood rush to my cheeks at the same time. I was embarrassed to be thinking about how beautiful he was, and I felt like an ass for embarrassing such a shy person. I looked back up at his face to see he was looking at me. As soon as we looked at each other again, both our heads snapped down to look at our selection of footwear. I took another look to see that he was shuffling shyly towards his house. I smiled when I saw he lived right across the street. I could tell that what had just happened would be a frequent occurrence.
Just then the younger boy yelled over.
"Hey!" He motioned to come over. I crossed the street, thinking to myself Oh God, I can't be that close to that gorgeous guy! What if I make myself look like an ass? I would never forgive myself.
The gorgeous guy stopped in the doorway when the other boy started yelling. When I started walking over, I swear I saw him shoot a dirty look at the younger boy. Oh geez, I knew it, he hates me. He doesn't want me over here. I'll leave ASAP. When I got over there, he was still looking at his feet.
"Hey, I'm Mikey. You just move here?" the younger boy asked. He was cute too, especially up close. He had somewhat long, light brown hair, glasses that only he could pull off, and an absolutely goofy smile that was contagious. He was sort pale too, but not like the breathtaking older boy.
"Yeah, my mom and I moved from (I still have to figure out where they moved from ) Oh, I'm Marissa by the way." I looked at the older guy as I said this, hoping he would care enough to remember my name.
Mikey nodded "Oh! This is my older brother Gerard." What a beautiful name to go with a beautiful person. "He just finished 10th grade. He's 16, and he's 2 years older than me" (I know they're three years apart in real life, but I changed that for the story)
Mikey liked to talk, I could tell, and would have kept doing so if I hadn't butted in.
"Oh, I'm going into 11th too" I said stupidly. As I said this, Gerard looked up quickly, then back down again. I kept my eyes on the sidewalk. How did a guy I'd known for 5 minutes have this effect on me?
Our moving truck pulled up in front of the house, as if heaven had sent it to keep me from embarrassing my self in front of one of its angels, Gerard.
"I have to go help unpack. Nice meting you guys."
Mikey waved enthusiastically and said good bye. He was so lovable. Gerard still stood in the doorway, watching me run across the street. Just knowing he had his eyes on me made me shiver, even though it was mid-June.
Nice meeting you guys? What the hell was I thinking? Stupid, stupid, stupid! Who said that anymore? And why did I all of a sudden care what people thought about me?
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Okay, thats all I have written. I'll write more today, then type it up tonight. As always, thanks for torturing yourself by reading this and ANY feedback is welcome!
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As he noticed I was not just looking, but analyzing him, he looked at his feet. I did the same, feeling blood rush to my cheeks at the same time. I was embarrassed to be thinking about how beautiful he was, and I felt like an ass for embarrassing such a shy person. I looked back up at his face to see he was looking at me. As soon as we looked at each other again, both our heads snapped down to look at our selection of footwear. I took another look to see that he was shuffling shyly towards his house. I smiled when I saw he lived right across the street. I could tell that what had just happened would be a frequent occurrence.
Just then the younger boy yelled over.
"Hey!" He motioned to come over. I crossed the street, thinking to myself Oh God, I can't be that close to that gorgeous guy! What if I make myself look like an ass? I would never forgive myself.
The gorgeous guy stopped in the doorway when the other boy started yelling. When I started walking over, I swear I saw him shoot a dirty look at the younger boy. Oh geez, I knew it, he hates me. He doesn't want me over here. I'll leave ASAP. When I got over there, he was still looking at his feet.
"Hey, I'm Mikey. You just move here?" the younger boy asked. He was cute too, especially up close. He had somewhat long, light brown hair, glasses that only he could pull off, and an absolutely goofy smile that was contagious. He was sort pale too, but not like the breathtaking older boy.
"Yeah, my mom and I moved from (I still have to figure out where they moved from ) Oh, I'm Marissa by the way." I looked at the older guy as I said this, hoping he would care enough to remember my name.
Mikey nodded "Oh! This is my older brother Gerard." What a beautiful name to go with a beautiful person. "He just finished 10th grade. He's 16, and he's 2 years older than me" (I know they're three years apart in real life, but I changed that for the story)
Mikey liked to talk, I could tell, and would have kept doing so if I hadn't butted in.
"Oh, I'm going into 11th too" I said stupidly. As I said this, Gerard looked up quickly, then back down again. I kept my eyes on the sidewalk. How did a guy I'd known for 5 minutes have this effect on me?
Our moving truck pulled up in front of the house, as if heaven had sent it to keep me from embarrassing my self in front of one of its angels, Gerard.
"I have to go help unpack. Nice meting you guys."
Mikey waved enthusiastically and said good bye. He was so lovable. Gerard still stood in the doorway, watching me run across the street. Just knowing he had his eyes on me made me shiver, even though it was mid-June.
Nice meeting you guys? What the hell was I thinking? Stupid, stupid, stupid! Who said that anymore? And why did I all of a sudden care what people thought about me?
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Okay, thats all I have written. I'll write more today, then type it up tonight. As always, thanks for torturing yourself by reading this and ANY feedback is welcome!