Post by Audrey. on Nov 18, 2007 0:38:02 GMT -5
'Twas the eyes before Christmas, and all through the cardboard box,
Not a creature was stirring, not even an evil panda.
The shirts were hung by the pot of revenge with care,
In hopes that St. Joe jini soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their desk of doom,
While visions of sugar-tacos danced in their hands.
And evil wife in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the shower of blood to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
ate open the shutters, and licked up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave the luster of mid-second to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear?
But an evil the black parade, and eight tiny pickle monkeys.
With a little old driver, so lively and ttly awesome,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Joe jini.
More rapid than chat monsters his pickle monkeys they came,
And he whistled, and chewed, and called them by name;
"Now, Dasher! Now, Rod ! Now, Toilet Paper and Vixen!
On, William Beckett! On Purple Zebra! On, Skinny Jeans and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the bra!
Now cry away! Cry away! Cry away all!"
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the pot of revenge St. Joe jini came with a bound.
His eyes -- how they blinked! His dimples, how hxc!
His fingers were like evil cats, his butt like a fry!
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,
And filled all the shirts, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his head aside of his knee,
And giving a nod, up the pot of revenge he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a farting noise,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good eyes!"
;D ;D ;D ohmyfucking god, i couldn't even breathe, i was laughing too hard ;D ;D ;D ;D
Edit:: I made the funniest parts bold ;D
Not a creature was stirring, not even an evil panda.
The shirts were hung by the pot of revenge with care,
In hopes that St. Joe jini soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their desk of doom,
While visions of sugar-tacos danced in their hands.
And evil wife in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the shower of blood to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
ate open the shutters, and licked up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave the luster of mid-second to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear?
But an evil the black parade, and eight tiny pickle monkeys.
With a little old driver, so lively and ttly awesome,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Joe jini.
More rapid than chat monsters his pickle monkeys they came,
And he whistled, and chewed, and called them by name;
"Now, Dasher! Now, Rod ! Now, Toilet Paper and Vixen!
On, William Beckett! On Purple Zebra! On, Skinny Jeans and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the bra!
Now cry away! Cry away! Cry away all!"
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the pot of revenge St. Joe jini came with a bound.
His eyes -- how they blinked! His dimples, how hxc!
His fingers were like evil cats, his butt like a fry!
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,
And filled all the shirts, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his head aside of his knee,
And giving a nod, up the pot of revenge he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a farting noise,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good eyes!"
;D ;D ;D ohmyfucking god, i couldn't even breathe, i was laughing too hard ;D ;D ;D ;D
Edit:: I made the funniest parts bold ;D
